Test Drive a Habit - No Complaining
Yes the title is correct. I’m going to attempt to go a whole month sans complaining. As I was creating my list of potential habits to tackle, my wife suggested “no complaining” for one month. I’m sure this was simply a random suggestion and has nothing to do with my character:).
Why have I chosen no complaining for this month?
In the past month, I’ve encountered an overwhelming amount of situations that I’ve incessantly been complaining about. The opportunities to complain have rained down from all directions. This seems like the worst possible time to take on such an overwhelming challenge. I enjoy taking on challenges or maybe I just enjoy doing things others don’t think is possible of me.
Why shouldn’t I complain?
We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect person, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself on fire by hell. All kinds kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3:2-12
The words that come out of our mouths are unbelievably influential in shaping our thought and actions. We are incredibly intelligent human beings and at the same time incredibly dumb human beings. We are extremely influenced by our words and the words of others around us. This is dumb instinctual behavior that marks our being. We are at the same time logical and illogical always bouncing from thoughtfulness and instinctualness. Words are important and more influential on us than we would like to admit.
What is complaining?
Webster’s dictionary defines complaining as follows.
1 : to express grief, pain, or discontent <complaining about the weather>
2 : to make a formal accusation or charge
These definitions are quite interesting and are important as I shape my “no complaining” habit. Both focus on the general whining that occurs in conversation. This whining does very little to advance conversation and almost always has a deleterious effect. We find great comfort in commiseration, but the impact of commiserating rarely has any positive impact. This is the complaining that I hope to avoid and maintain an intentional awareness of my words in these conversations.
What complaining will I continue?
I believe that the 2nd definition strikes close to the type of complaining that I want to strive to imbibe in. I think it is important that if I have something that I desire to complain about openly then I should have the fortitude to express my thoughts directly to someone who can act on my complaint. Ruling out complaining altogether would bring me to passivity and inaction further suppressing frustration and angst. I equate ruling out formal complaints to operating in an environment that deals solely with Grace while not acknowledging Truth. Grace without Truth brings unintended consequences that have no long term value. Not speaking up and taking issues to people with authority to produce change carries along the same long term emptiness and sadly drifts us away from excellence.
In conclusion, my Test Drive a Habit for the month is to avoid complaining except when I’m making a “formal” statement directly to someone who can impact change. I’m striving to move to tame my tongue to avoid complaining that mindlessly drags down myself and those around me.
Ultimately I want to avoid reaching the point of that Job reached.
I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul. Job 10:1
Below are my attempted Test Drive a Habit challenges.
